I'm moving. I think i've decided. Though, it's pending on what I find work-wise after Ritz is liquidated. Where is also a factor. I can't be here anymore. I can't explain.
My Del Sol is sitting in the driveway being worked on. :) I've been bitten by the Honda bug. I plan on going crazy on that car. I have to name her still. Her and I plan on making it across the country this summer.
Orlx was a blast. I'm so excited for Atlx next weekend. I'm even looking forward to the drive. Woo is driving up with me, and possibly Brantt and Kyle. We will see. If more than Woo comes I will have to take mom's car and let her borrow my Honda, since it's a two seater, which is a bummer, but the drive will be fun.
Driving south perhaps tomorrow to go shooting with my new extension tube.

My car still isn't running.
I'm still anticipating the loss of one of my two jobs.
I failed a midterm, due to my missing three weeks of class while I had bronchialmoniaconjuctivitis, or whatever. As a result, I have to drop the class.

Whooo for summer classes!

However.. I'm feeling better than I was. I don't know how that is.. but I am.

Things are still on the sketchy side. I'm going to keep an open mind, and welcome whatever comes my way. I'm really just trying to keep it positive.

I've been feeling lesser alone these last few days; although, nothing has really changed.
No complaints..

I slept for thirteen hours! I'm still in bed. Ridiculous. I never want to sleep again.
It's what I get though for dancing for six hours, sleeping for three hours at tim's, driving home, and working all night.
It was the first real fun i've had in a long time though. It was awesome hanging out with Jamie, and Tim made us pancakes, which I wish I could have fit more of in my stomach. I have rekindled my appreciation for eighties music videos. I remember Ilona and I youtubing them all day when I worked at starbucks. We stayed up until 5:30ish, I slept for a couple of hours on Tim's air mattress, which was much appreciated, woke up around 9, rambled conversations with Woo for a couple of hours, should have gone back to sleep, drove home, slept half an hour, went to work. Good times. I plan to have more of them in the near future. :)

My car died today. For good, I think.

I may have to drop my film class.

I don't know what else could go wrong at this point.

I want to feel better about this. I feel so alone in everything I do. I used to find peace in that. I feel unbalanced. How can this be? We submitted to our differences. How come? I neglected to realize.. he was everything that I wasn't. Everything that i'm not. I feel as if i'm trying to stand on one leg.

i carry your heart with me,
(i carry it in my heart),
i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go, my dear;
and whatever is done by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear no fate,(for you are my fate, my sweet)
i want no world,(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows,
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)

and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

I have bronchitis, pneumonia, god knows what else. I had 103 fever on valentines day.
I'm miserable, and failing. I've propositioned several people to aid in my death, as I am not suicidal by any means, and everyone is just too goddamn selfish.

such is life.



Amelia

I'm not sure what i've done.



I don't know what i'm doing.

I haven't posted in some time; this will change.

My life seemingly changes so frequently, it's hard to put things into words.

I just got back to Florida a few hours ago. Life is so beautiful, there is so much beyond this place, I can't even describe it. I have class in six hours, I will have to elaborate tomorrow.

It's nice to be home, but I think I left my heart somewhere in the midwest.

I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead;
I lift my lids and all is born again.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

The stars go waltzing out in blue and red,
And arbitrary blackness gallops in:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.

I dreamed that you bewitched me into bed
And sung me moon-struck, kissed me quite insane.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

God topples from the sky, hell's fires fade:
Exit seraphim and Satan's men:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.

I fancied you'd return the way you said,
But I grow old and I forget your name.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

I should have loved a thunderbird instead;
At least when spring comes they roar back again.
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

I'm actually posting.

I can't remember when my last post was, so i'm not sure what has changed, or become new since. I finished my arm. Shannon added some more color and backround, it looks quite nice. I'm thinking of doing a side piece when I have the money; Mothra, perhaps. That is definitely one I will have to think about. My father may cry a little.
I got a MUCH better grade on my final paper than I thought I would in my social problems class. I only feel good about it because there was a lot of really low grades in the stack I found my paper in.. unfortunately. His grading system is weird, but I definitely got a low A or a high B.
My german final is going to be hard, it's tonight and i'm not looking forward to it. I had to seriously re-arrange my class schedule for spring. I have to wake up earlier, but i'll get over it. It now looks as follows: M-W, Forensic Anthro at 9:30, Cultural Anthro at 11, History of Film II at 5:30, T-TH World geography at 9:30, and then German II at 6:30, again. 16 credits, should knock a nice chunk out of my way.
The highlight of my week-
I went to the Boca FAU campus with Christopher to turn in a paper yesterday afternoon. It was a fun little trip, we stopped at this great rest area in Stuart, where I suppose I dropped my wallet which was to be found and picked up by some elderly woman, who took it with her on a joy ride to Miami. She turned into the police station down there, where it was impounded, and the contents, i.e: license, bank card, credit cards, s.s card, will... eventually... be mailed to me.
Nice.

Oh, and my car sounds like it's dying... again.